Shades of Me
by nemaara
Summary: A short series of drabbles about Raven. Each chapter's theme is represented by a different color, which also represents one of Raven's emotions.
1. Blue

Disclaimer: TT not mine.

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**Blue **

Her usual color, a shade of midnight blue that became black in the darkness but was deep and rich in light. It reflected who she was as a person very well. Dark, moody, depressing, but blue was not only those things.

There were many things that blue was. Impassioned, but contained. Calm. But not emotionless. Soft and quiet. Classy, elegant. In almost all senses of the word, Raven was blue. Maybe that was why she liked to wear the color so much.

Yet perhaps that was not entirely true either. There were, after all, many shades of blue.

Like azure. Shining, the color of brilliant gems sparkling in tempered seas of shallow coral. A dazzling aquamarine. That, Raven was not. She was always the one described as dark, never the center of attention, always seeking to be left alone, to be not looked at, not thought of. Raven was never the one described as radiant, with good reason. She didn't want to be.

Sapphire, a more subdued jewel, perhaps that was slightly more fitting. She certainly had a sense of "allure" about her; mysterious and introverted, she attracted others that way, enthralling with the depth and complexity of her personality.

Cerulean, a lighter shade, almost reminiscent of oceans of ice, faintly blue, like dyed water frozen. A good, but superficial description. She was cold, seemingly emotionless, seemingly uncaring. But she actually wasn't. She was an _empath, _for God's sake. Her icy visage was merely a facade, one to mask her own doubts and insecurities. Cerulean, she was, but hated.

Indigo. The color she wore. A classic blue, only a shade darker. Raven liked dark colors. Was that anything surprising?

Navy. A little less purple than indigo, but sometimes yet darker. The color of some jeans. Comfortable. At least, she thought so. What was there not to like about it?

Cyan. Turquoise. A gaudy shade of blue-green that seemed absurd to call blue. But they were. Obnoxious colors to her. Too bright, ugly tone, superficial, gilded. What was good about them? Azure, she could respect though she was not. It held a certain luster to it that was breathtakingly beautiful. Indigo and navy, she understood well and liked. Deep, brooding, mysterious. As she knew she must have appeared to be. Cyan and turquoise? Bright, but not lustrous, solid colors with no depth to them. No appeal. At least not to her.

Gentian. A flower with the shade of the purest blue. The blue that whenever someone spoke of the color, everyone's first thought was that shade of 'blue'. Sure, it was just the classic color, perhaps overused, but she thought it was fine. Although calling her a flower? That seemed a bit much. Raven _never _bloomed. She just didn't do the whole opening up, becoming a leader, socially adept type of thing - although she was quite socially knowledgeable: that came with being an empath; once you knew everyone's feelings, it was easy to work with them if you wanted to. Only, she didn't really feel the need for interacting with other people. So she never bloomed. Well, maybe never was a bad word. _Sometimes..._ okay, rarely... she did have her moments. Maybe she was just one of those flowers that seldom blossomed, but typically when they did, they were amongst the most breathtaking.

Nope. Too cliché. She changed her mind. Raven was not breathtaking or beautiful in the normal sense. She didn't have a problem with admitting it either. It just wasn't who she was. But she was elegant in her own way. Not like an aristocrat or anything, but she was the girl that always seemed to be untouchable, like she was above everyone else. Like the type that nobody messed with because she just seemed like she shouldn't be - although Beast Boy had decidedly not gotten that feeling from her - the one that you always spoke to courteously and treated kindly._  
_

And then called her a witch behind her back.

Yes, Raven knew that there were many people who thought she was too different, like some demon-like gothic chick... okay, maybe she was... and they thought of her unkindly because of it.

There was a lot more to a flower than met the eye. Not merely a bunch of pretty petals. A flower was both male and female, stigma and pistil, males bearing the life transferring pollen portion and females hidden within, stigma, style, then in the very center, the precious, and very delicate ovary. Only when together, was the flower whole and could it blossom again in the future. Unless there were other flowers around to pollinate it.

Raven was decidedly male in appearance. No, not physical appearance, but she seemed very "guy-like," in some regards. Reticent, harsh at times, never smiled, sarcastic, witty, strong willed... and inside she was very much "girl-like." Sensitive. Often distraught, both depressing and depressed, moody, grudging. Okay, maybe those were just classic gender roles. Maybe people were a combination of both of those things, and many from both genders.

But there she was. With both her "male" and "female" parts. Without one or the other, she would not function properly, unless there was someone to support her. She _had _experienced it before, after all. The female part was not simply going to go away in her case, and so it had been the male part that had been fractured. Malchior, she remembered, had stripped her stony exterior and revealed her inner self. And then he had betrayed her and she thought that she might have killed herself, but luckily someone - the someone she had least expected - had been there to help. So that she might blossom again one day.

So maybe she was gentian - the blue flower.

Now that she thought of it, she was a lot of maybes. That was why blue fit her so well. The color itself was a bunch of maybes. It was uncertainty, which was admittedly not always good, but ambiguity also represented choice, and as someone whose very life was already decided to be a portal for a demon lord, choice was a very appealing freedom to her.

Blue. Choice. Freedom. Raven decided that was why she liked blue so much.


	2. Pink

Disclaimer: TT not my creation

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**Pink **

A color normally associated with love, but in her case that was not true. A related emotion, though, happiness. Joy.

It was weird, because one really would not have expected pink to be Raven's favorite color. It was just so... unRavenlike. Maybe it was because the dark shades of blue were perceived to be her favorite colors, which certainly matched her personality and demeanor, and pink was just so unlike that.

But maybe there really wasn't any meaning to her liking the color pink. It was a color. And she liked it. Pleasing to her eyes. End of story.

But that would be boring, wouldn't it?

There had to be some meaning to her favorite color being that particular bright, lovey dovey shade of the rainbow. Then again, pink _also _had different shades... though noticeably less than blue.

Mostly, pink could be described in two categories. The soft pinks. More subdued. Blush, salmon, coral. Almost a sense of dullness, not because of the presence of control, but the lack of luster behind the color itself.

Raven herself could never be described as sparkling, that was for sure. But she had some sort of fire about her, at least within her being, that made her seem bright in a very different way. Intelligent, yes, and also, despite her emotionless exterior, impassioned. Certainly not dull. So that was why Happy was never dressed in that drab color of repressed pink.

And then there was hot pink. Fuchsia. Another color of blooming flowers. No, what interested her was the color itself. It was pretty. Happy. With an air of promiscuous vitality about it. Not in the sense of sex. _Not like that at all... _Social promiscuity. Sense of being alive by being in contact with other people.

Something she didn't actually care about. Happy, though? Maybe she wanted to be happy. Like, who didn't want to be happy?

But then, what had happiness ever brought her?

She had been happy at some points in her life. And when that happiness had faded, all that was left was bitter disappointment. Happiness was something she both yearned for but feared at the same time.

But what if she was always happy as Happy was?

Actually, that was not something she relished either. It almost seemed... like a mindless state. Unable to appreciate the beauty of the darker side of life. That sort of bubbly happiness was only superficial, and she thought that it might make her lose her mind, becoming merely one of those silly buffoons who laughed at anything and everything, prancing around joyously all the time. Well, not all the time, but even half the time was too much for her.

Being happy really didn't do much for her, actually. Content might have been a better word for it. Of course, being "content" didn't exactly mean being happy, especially in Raven's case. Content in the sense of doing what she loved, not _being _loved, or _being _happy. But doing something.

So, pink. Happiness? Or being comfortable in her own skin? It was a weird color, she decided, much like Happy herself.

Although, she could appreciate happiness as well. It was a natural state of mind that people worked for. That was the only reason she had decided to keep Happy in the first place, as opposed to eliminating her altogether. Having Happy there, though Raven herself rarely felt the emotion, made her feel "content." Like she was somewhat normal or something.

Okay, she didn't care about being normal either. Maybe she just liked having Happy's presence because it was something that just felt right. Without even a hint of happiness in her, after all, she would have succumbed to all of her other emotions eons ago. Depression, rage, moodiness... yeah, she probably wouldn't have even lasted a day before she killed herself. Or someone else. So really, happiness was her form of control.

Control, but it was, after all, the only thing that made her even a little bit comfortable with herself. Or even being alive. Yep that was what Happy was to her. That pink garbed girl, the only thing keeping her from going completely insane, demonic, or killing herself. So, maybe not the most classic reason why, but perhaps that was why pink was her favorite color.


	3. Violet

Disclaimer: I don't own TT

This chapter of the awesome violet color is dedicated to **discb **(because of the review for the pink chapter).

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**Violet**

Lust. Violet was the color that Raven's emoticlone embodying lust wore. That one that always went around cuddling with everyone in sight, a wanting grin on her face, well, the classic character of personified lust. Why she wore purple? Well, who knew?

Maybe it made her feel special. Purple, royal purple, as the name implied, was a color classically reserved for nobility. Well, nah. Lust wasn't that type. An attention seeker, yes, power hungry, no. Well, certainly lust had "power" over some peoples' minds, but not Raven's. So it wasn't that.

A shade of bright purple, like tinted plum, brighter than the usual dark colors Raven enjoyed.

That made sense. Lust was a lot more extroverted than Raven was. Brighter colors for the more social emotion. Then again, brighter was such a subjective word. Did it mean lighter? Or more vibrant?

Like lavender. A lighter shade of purple, but one with a softer hue, a repressed purple. Not a color that Lust normally _wore, _but then, lavender was not just a color. A fragrance, pure, clean, refreshing, when purified, but when concentrated, husky, smokier, unbridled scent of nature. An appealing aroma, reminiscent of flora abundant, just as the color was.

Like vivacious orchids. Lilacs in full bloom. Strips of vivid purple blossoming between bands of softer violet, the luster and the lusted complementing each other perfectly. Yes. Lavender and orchid. Lust liked both of those colors.

Like ripe plums. What were? Well...

Like callicarpa, the beauty berries, smaller, but nice and sweet as well. Although Lust personally liked bigger ones...

Like blueberries, which were actually purple when mashed and their pigments exposed.

Or blackberries. Which were also purple. Lots of stuff was purple.

Mulberry purple... although mulberries themselves were not. Oh well.

All the different shades of purple blended together into a nice fruit shake. Lust loved drinking those, feeling the juices run down her chin as it spilled out of her mouth when she drank it...

She _totally _was not thinking of something else at all.

Or eggplants. That deep shade of violet, the long, thick, curved cylindrical shape like...

One might have told Lust to get her mind out of the gutter, but she was _Lust _after all.

Lust loved plants and in their varied sorts of purpleness, from the lighter lavender and lilac flowers to the deeper shades found in fruits like the juicy figs and grapes and plums, all those things so nice to gobble up and taste the sweet liquids pouring from them.

Hell, there were even those purple vegetables like purple cabbage, (which Lust, unfortunately, couldn't really find something suggestive about - they looked like violet brains to her) and those weird purple carrots. Long and thin, as opposed to those eggplants. But just as satisfying. Or purple corn, short and fat. Yum.

And prunes. Tasted horrible, but looked voluptuous when ripe. And dried? Ew. Crinkled, just like those heads of purple cabbage which were actually called red cabbage, but really were purple.

That was weird, wasn't it? Lots of stuff that was called a different color was actually violet. Maybe people just didn't want to admit their inner lust or something.

Deep shades of purple and lighter ones alike, all somehow related to lust. So it made sense that she wore that color.

But then there was that weird one, mauve, a faded violet that was almost pink.

This wasn't merely a lighter, smooth shade like lavender or the strips of orchid and lilac. There was something about it a little more plain. Classy, in a way, but plain.

_That _wasn't something Lust was used to at all. No sparkling, like shining amethysts. No obvious luster to it, no obvious radiance.

But Lust also had this twin sister who _loved _the color mauve. See, there was this emotion that was so incredibly complex, that took on many forms and occurred in such improbable situations, that was one of the strongest, one of the most compelling, and yet elegant in its simplicity as well. Because really, it was a form of obsession and once a person felt this emotion, it was just there. Simple. Nothing to be done about it. It was there, and it might have been because of strange things or the cause of strange things, but that did not change its presence.

It might have been complicated too, and sometimes it didn't seem like what it was. It might have caused heated arguments, even momentary hatred, and it often caused anxiety, fear, worry, feelings just as strong as it itself was.

Mauve captured that emotion pretty well. A plain color, seemingly simple, not much to it. And yet mysterious and complex, even when merely a solid shade of mauve. Faded violet, but not dull. Lacking luster. Not promiscuous, as lust was. Slightly purple, mystic, a deeper shade that could be a little gloomy, slightly pink, to Raven, a bit happy too.

Well, the one who loved the color mauve was certainly a little happy sometimes, because without happiness, she would not have existed at all. So she was maybe midway between Lust and Happy, purple and pink. And invariably linked with Happy most of the time, but also with Lust because really the two could not be separated in many instances. Linked together, both felt at the same time. Because it could be that way.

Inevitably, though, Raven ended ignoring her because that was just who Raven was. Even if the slightly greyish hue of mauve matched her skin very well, even if the color itself was something she loved.

Love, after all, brought her fear. And Lust? A characteristic too intertwined with her demon side for her to accept it.

So, Raven thought that she might not like the color purple.

But maybe she was in denial as well. Maybe she wanted to love, and to lust, and to feel all those strong emotions, but just couldn't. Or maybe she did feel them but just couldn't show them.

Either way, despite the weird logic associated with the color, Raven decided that she liked the color violet. No, loved it.


	4. Grey

Disclaimer: I don't own TT.

Looks like I'm writing this story for you, discb...

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**Grey **

Timid. Grey had this melancholic quality about it that not even black had. It was pure sadness, not to the point of bitter despair, but rather a light grief.

An emoticlone that had a strong influence over Raven's mind, one that she did not exactly detest, one that she did not exactly love either. For the most part, she had gotten used to be scared and denying that fear, thinking of herself as a blight on humanity, and trying to fight evil so that she might not be, always working for redemption, reconciling her good deeds with the fact that she was a murderer, killer of all humanity as daughter of Trigon...

That, and her demon blood giving her a strange appearance made her shy away from most other people, and even with those who knew her well, she was not comfortable.

Timid dictated that she did not show what she felt, did not appear to care what others felt, did not seek the company of anyone but herself. In a word, Timid was her fear, fear of everything and everyone.

Grey matched that well. A neutral color, sort of dull, contained, lacking any form of expression. There wasn't really much that could be described about how the color appeared, just like Timid. Except for the fact that she was shy and easily hurt.

But, what was especially true of grey, more than any other color, was how much more there was to it than met the eye.

It was the most neutral of any color. Seemingly stable, composed, unfaltering, but also representing despondency. Even though there were many many many shades of grey, they were all the same. No different from one another.

Grey, however, was so very different from itself that there was no need to have any different shades of it. As both a cool demeanor, yet also a dismal one, it conflicted with itself a lot. It itself was stable, but it was also isolation, _seeking _stability by avoiding chaos. Mature, calm, keeping peace, but merely a facade to cover up the lack of confidence, the indecisiveness that was grey. The color itself was a perfect mask, balanced because of a need to hide insecurity.

And really it represented Raven well. As much as she denied being insecure about herself, she was probably the least confident person out of everyone she knew. Which wasn't many people, but...

Well hey, that alone said something about her. But it was who she was.

Still, she decided she didn't like the color grey. Did that mean she didn't like herself? That certainly was what Timid was like.

But at times, she essentially was Timid, so what was the difference anyway? Her dominant emotions weren't happiness, though she liked its presence, lust, love, greediness, jealousy, bravery, boorishness, none of that stuff.

Maybe grey was a color better talked about in terms of what it was not rather than what it was. It wasn't bright. It wasn't vibrant. It wasn't fulfilling, it wasn't vivid. It wasn't vivacious. Nor was it blithe. Yet it was not deathly, despairing, hateful, envious, or deceitful either.

All the many things Timid was not, all the things she feared.

All the things Raven was not either.

So it would have seemed that Raven was mostly guided by her fears, her depression, her doubts, her insecurity. Or if not that, anger, hatred (for her father), irritation, frustration.

Wonderful person she must have been.

And yet she was pretty awesome in her own way. Sarcastic, yes, but funny as well, she could be affectionate because she understood what being hurt meant, and once you were her friend, she would fight for you until her last breath. Loyal to the end.

Perhaps what was most notable about her was her inner strength, the will to say she was giving up - that was Timid speaking - but then to not actually give up and keep fighting. That was why, when her father had come through the portal, that part of her that was unwilling to give up had manifested itself into the form that Robin had found, and that was why she had been able to face him and fight him on equal footing. Not giving up. Ever.

Something that belied the grey nature of Timid that was so prevalent in her mind.

But really it was her being Timid that made her so strong. Every second of her life dealing with it, dealing with and accepting her fear, it made her resilient, it made her willful and powerful.

There was no such thing as being "fearless" without being fearful, or having happiness without depression, love without hatred. It always worked that way. For if one did not know what fear was, how could she then be without it?

Okay, so maybe Timid, grey, was something she did not like, but she certainly appreciated what it gave her.

Grey. Not her favorite, but maybe the one that represented her best.


	5. Orange

Disclaimer: I do not own TT

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**Orange **

Rude.

Well, Raven could come across as rude. Those who knew her well knew that she didn't mean it. It was just who she was - she didn't really think much of all the social standards of being polite and nicey nicey goody goody with everyone because, well, it really didn't mean much anyway. Being mannerly, being amiable, polite greetings, all that stuff was pretty superficial much of the time, and people often merely hid their irritation with others, or frustration, or whatever just because it was societal standard to do so. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to pretend to be something she wasn't. People should see her for what she was, not some mask that she put on.

Sure, Raven hid many things from other people - like she didn't show how she felt about many things or how much she actually did care about what other people felt - but conforming to society to hide herself was not one of the things she did because it made her feel like she would lose her individuality and become merely one of those robots, trapped in a cycle of sleep, get up, put on a face at work to get ahead in life, eat, back to sleep, repeat.

She came across as rude because she seemed uncaring, unfeeling, and she wouldn't even try to appear to be otherwise.

There was a reason for it, of course, but it was because other people were too uncaring to find out, they never did.

She had to control what she appeared to be. As an empath, receiving everyone else's emotions, she _couldn't _show it otherwise she'd go insane. And being able to see past the masks that people put on, she also saw them for what they really were. Plenty more rude than even she appeared to be, at least in thought.

Well, as everyone said, it was the thought that counted.

Okay, but in actuality, she wasn't rude. Being consciously rude was so ugly, like the color orange could be. A deeper shade mixed with brown, the color of burnt stuff, or maybe a bit more greenish and you got vomit, or bright and superficial, neon orange, a shiny coat that hid meaninglessness behind it, not unlike the whole "being polite" thing was. Superficial. Pointless.

At least to her, there was no good shade of orange. It was just that right shade on the color spectrum, lacking depth, but bright and shiny enough to be completely superficial. Not radiant, not bright and hopefully, just a dull, frivolous hue that tried to be significant. And failed at it.

Like the inconsequential banter that people tried to have with each other.

Then there was the side of orange that was the whole being a slob thing. Similar to rude, actually, in the sense that most people didn't like slobs, or being excessively slovenly, or vulgarity.

Judging by Raven's clean, well groomed appearance, her generally pretty clean room, and stiff, prudish appearance, she fell under the category of "most people" better than most people did.

Like in her humor, for example. Sarcastic and witty, but not crude.

And then there was another side to orange - the classic color of flames, burnished heat, kindled emotion, fervor.

Something that actually described Raven very well.

Not outwardly appearing to be very arduous, she was a person ruled by her emotions on the inside. Highly, for lack of a better word, sentimental, though perhaps a more suitable description would be that she could react very strongly to things, more so than the average person. Only, she hid it very well because she was quite stoic. She didn't like to show her feelings. It was the way she was.

Emotions were possible the most private thing a person had, more than events that happened or things experienced. More than relationships, and definitely more than stuff, physical material objects owned. And as a private person, Raven kept her sentiments to herself most of the time.

Of course sometimes, it was just too overwhelming to keep it all in, or maybe she felt that she should comfort someone else, usually a friend of hers, so she allowed some emotion to show on her face or sound in her voice, and then it became clear that the so called "inner fire" inside Raven burned quite heatedly, belying the ice of her demeanor.

So if orange were to describe her in any way, it would be through her inner flame.

Though in Raven's case, her emoticlones as a whole described that powerful, ardent aspect of her nature, a collage of colors, shades of a myriad of colors, the spectrum of the rainbow, every hue in between the deepest of violets, black, to the brightest shades of white and the hues of red. Not just orange.

In the end, orange really didn't describe her well, though it was still there. Just not one of her stronger emoticlones, the one representing rudeness and boorishness.

She would have said that she decided she didn't like the color orange, but that was not entirely true either. She just didn't like the way the color looked.


	6. Brown

Disclaimer: TT not mine

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**Brown **

A dark color, but a warm one. The color of earth, reality, hard work, emotion, worldly, tanned skin - all the things Raven was not. Certainly not warm.

Firm, stubborn - Raven could be stubborn - but also confident, self assured, things Raven was not.

Homely, dutiful. What were her duties? What home, what friends did she have to look to? Friends... she had some friends, but they were not emotionally close. They simply lived with each other and supported each other when necessary, fighting as a group, knowing each other's preferences, but none of them actually knew why she was the way she was.

That was fine with her. She simply wasn't brown, that was all.

Earthen. Secure, but if broken, easily crumbled.

Perhaps she was like that, but perhaps not. She would never crumble. All her life she had fought _what _she was, never faltering even in the darkest of times. Giving up hope, yes, but that was not the same as giving up. She would always fight, with or without hope.

A fighter, always finding a way to recover. Earth was like that. Brown was like that.

Tan, the color of skin, but not her skin. A neutral color, slightly warm, but bland, uninteresting.

She wasn't warm. Definitely not, in the usual sense. She didn't appear to be, at least, though she could be plenty comforting to her friends when she wanted to be. When they needed someone. She tried to support them the best she could - after all, she could sense what they needed as an empath, and it wasn't like she didn't care about them. She cared a lot more about other people than she let on. So maybe she actually was warm in some regards. Where it actually counted.

Uninteresting?

She was never uninteresting. Some people didn't like her - okay, strike that, lots of people didn't like her - but still not uninteresting. They simply didn't care to find out about her, maybe because she was the way she was. There was a lot to find out, but it was difficult to. Mysterious, brooding, willful. Lots to discover.

Food. Coffee and chocolate. Bittersweet. Yep, that was her, without a doubt. Once you got past the bitter taste, she really could be quite pleasant to be around. As long as you weren't obsessed with superficial things.

Bread. It could be grainy, it could be smooth. Filling, certainly. From the earth. Well, she certainly never felt fulfilled.

Wheat, golden, growing from the ground, each stalk working its way slowly up toward the sky. Rising up, only to be reaped in harvest. That was often how she felt.

Gold. She wasn't greedy, and gold wasn't even very brown. More yellow than anything. But still, there was a dusky shade about it, like any metal, before it was refined.

She could appear to be refined, cultured, quiet, definitely not obnoxious. But she didn't care that much about being refined either. Politeness and being cultured were just things to mask one's inner self. Which she did very often, just not in that way. So, maybe a bit dusky.

Bronze, brass, copper. With a certain obscured luster about them. That was her as well. She was attractive in some ways, in the sense that she held one's attention, despite her darker exterior. Maybe not attractive in the usual sense, but she was interesting.

Mahogany. Wood, life, not the cold unlife of metal. She wasn't sure about that. Sometimes she wanted to be dead, not something the color brown conveyed. Sometimes she already felt dead. Not living, not brown.

Dirt and dust. She wasn't dirty or dusty and she didn't like being unclean. That was why her room was always so organized and everything was put in its place.

Beige, a lighter shade. Almost like white, purity, but with a bit of warm life with it as well. Not like a cold angel from heaven, but a living, breathing, innocent young girl. She was anything but that.

Brown. A color that sort of described her, but sort of didn't describe her. She didn't really like it, but it was there, and she had to admit that she could act a little brown sometimes. Just a little. But really, she didn't think that she was associated much with it.


	7. Yellow

Disclaimer: I do not own TT

A little different from the other chapters.

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**Yellow**

Well, it was normally a bright and happy color, but in her case those things had been relegated to pink instead. Yellow...

In her case, it wasn't so much an emotion as literally an aspect of her personality. Wisdom. Actually, well...

Raven was definitely not wise. She was really smart, but not wise at all. Smart was being able to figure things out quickly and using one's knowledge to its fullest extent to either create new things or solve existing puzzles. Or in fights, to decipher an opponent and defeat him. It was also being able to learn quickly, which she did, having a good knowledge base, which she also did, and being able to read other people well, which was easy for her as an empath. Smart.

Wisdom was something different. It was a type of smart, but not something you thought you would find in a young person like Raven. There was usually a certain... emotional stability about wise people, and a certain scholarliness that she simply didn't have. Enlightened, sagacious, experienced, usually there was a measure of placidity about them as well. So, Raven might have been wise if her emotions were held in check...

Actually, that was what Wisdom was there for. She was the one who tried to help all of Raven's other emotions, calm them down so that they would not be so out of control all the time, coordinating and to some extent, trying to control them. It was Raven's attempt at stability, though Wisdom could really only do so much against the tempestuous feelings inside her.

Not to say that Wisdom was weak. It was just that it was practically her against the whole of Raven's mind. Alone, solitary in her fight. That was probably why Raven was so unstable.

A darker shade of yellow, honey. "Knowledge" had that color, soft like amber, smooth and sweet. Knowledge was a more subdued concept, a mere... something one had, a representation of a possession rather than a trait. Knowledge, in Raven's case, was the weird one who was always wandering the halls of her realm, a gigantic library of books and information that Raven herself didn't know she knew, repressed memories, knowledge in its purest form. It was subdued in the sense that it wasn't intense, it was just... there.

A brighter shade, canary, "smart". Raven's insight into other people's emotions was one of her most defining traits, but it was by no means a placid one. Not only could she sense what everyone else felt, their feelings became her feelings as well, except the bad part was, she seemed to be unable to feel things like happiness no matter whatever her pink emotion told her. So she only tended to absorb all those terrible feelings that other people had, and there were quite a lot of them. Being insightful was not as great as it seemed to be.

And then there was that whole "philosophy" or thinking aspect of her brain. Raven thought a lot. She brooded a lot over everything, mostly deep, philosophical questions that concerned her own life and the lives of others, the meaning of what it was to exist and why they even existed at all. It wasn't too unexpected, considering she was half demon and an outcast of both worlds, always laying on the outskirts of acceptance and on the brink of intolerance. Why bother to go on at all? She suffered a lot, that much was certain, probably more than anyone else could ever understand, more than anyone else could even hope to withstand. Because she took on everyone else's pain as well. It took a strength beyond any that one could imagine, to go on living the way she did. But that was just who she was. It made her irritable at times, or seemingly uncaring, but...

Yellow was actually supposed to be the color of cowardice and trickery. Raven might have been great at manipulating other people, plotting and everything, if she cared to be. Obviously, that just wasn't who she was. As for being cowardly? True, sometimes she did feel that way. Wouldn't it be easier just to give up and kill herself? Why go on living if all she was going to do was be miserable anyway?

Luckily, Cowardice had long since been kicked down a well in Rage's realm and was not going to show up any time soon.

There was one more yellow, though, a bright shade that was so light it might have been white if one did not look closely. Judgment. A Raven with piercing eyes, white glimmers in a gaping void, faceless, almost ghastly. Ultimately, that was what Wisdom, Knowledge, and Smart led to. All a matter of judgment. Sure, Raven did not think she had the right to judge others, but there were other forms of judgment too. Judgment call in dealing with problems, dealing with things like Slade or the Brotherhood of Evil, when to fight and when to run, to protect or chase, even the subconscious judgment to lose control and regain it.

And Judgment, the judge of what was to happen and all things, was the one who pulled the strings of her emoticlones from her shadows.

Yep, yellow was the control color, and whether she liked it or not, it was the one that ran her brain. Control, and the loss of it, the presence of yellow and the loss of it. Raven was glad it was there.


	8. Green

Disclaimer: TT is not mine

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**Green**

Typically one of two things. Life. Love of life, nature, giving, peaceful, nurturing... like a saint, a social worker...

And though she did not seem like it at all, Raven did care deeply about people and their well being. That was why she had become a superhero to begin with, right? Of course, people didn't think of her that way - they thought of her as creepy and dangerous, but the fact of the matter was she had saved many lives.

And green was envy. And sure, Raven was jealous of other people. Mostly because they were happy and she wasn't. And couldn't be.

But in her case, the emoticlone with the green cloak was Courage. Or maybe Brave. Or whatever it was, it represented her fighting spirit, and not the angry type that Rage was. The will to protect, the will to strive on, mentally and physically, never giving up despite having already giving up.

Indeed, Raven was probably one of the most courageous people in the world, and not just because she was risking her life as a superhero to save other people. It was the fact that if people knew what she was, a demon, or at least half of one, then they would fear and hate her, they would outcast her even though she had saved them many times, forgetting all the good that she had done for them. Because she was naturally inclined to destruction at heart, because she was her father's child, and was not in any way _supposed _to help or sympathize with humanity, yet she did. Because she, at every moment of her life, had to keep her emotions - rage, hatred, fury, despair - under control, and still fight for others, and still maintain some semblance of calm, of the fact that she wasn't screwed up to her very core. To think that she was a monster, but still pretend that she wasn't and continue on living. That took some sort of strength of spirit, willpower, courage, that most other people didn't have.

The darkest shade of green, the darkest side of courage, the ability to ignore and persist, to repress, to overcome.

But that was not the shade that one normally would have found when encountering Courage in her mind. A slightly lighter shade, deep emerald, vibrant, verdant, extroverted, outgoing, quite unlike Raven herself. The lighter shade she did not identify so much with - usually, it was Timid that ruled her mind more so than Courage.

She had her moments. Like when she needed to protect someone... something. Or when she was angry, Courage had a bit more control over her. Or when she was feeling a bit... not as depressed, not as consumed by her need for control... Courage was there too. Although...

Lighter greens, verdigris, viridian, even lighter, neon green, almost blue, aquamarine, Extroversion. Raven wasn't an extrovert, but she understood people very well. Of course, she was an empath. Easy enough, but she also sometimes had what it took to approach them and help them, to sense what they needed and be that thing that they required, whether it was comfort, a helping hand, anything, she could be there. If she could muster up the Courage, if she could muster up the Extroversion necessary.

If, if, if. Always if. If she could do this, if she could do that. But Raven couldn't. It wasn't so simple. For one, she didn't like interacting with other people. Not because of a lack of control, not because of anything, except her own personality. She just wasn't that type of person. Sure, she'd help when necessary, but if it wasn't, then she wasn't going to go out and randomly talk to people. There, if was out of the question. Then it was if she could keep on fighting. Inevitably, she did. Otherwise she would have been dead. The real "if" was if she would give up.

Would she?

That question had been there a lot. Would she just give up? Would she just kill herself? Or let herself be killed, so that she wouldn't have to endure life anymore?

Nope. Courage was there to stop her. And as long as it was there, she would still be there. Though it wasn't really her, nor did it represent her in any normal sense, the darkest side of Courage was the buffer between her and death. Oblivion. Languor, death of her mind, when she gave in and let it all overcome her.

But it never happened because of Courage. So there it was, the green Raven, preserving her life, keeping her, not exactly lively, but still breathing, thinking, feeling. There to protect her against herself.

She couldn't say that she liked it. Although her friends might have.


	9. White

Disclaimer: I don't own TT

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**White**

Purity. Maybe even naïveté. Innocence at its most chaste, the clean, blank whiteness of the pristine saint. Virtue, integrity, moral value...

Difficult concepts to realize. Different for every person. What was moral? What was right and wrong? This idea of purity, innocence, what was it? Each person had their own idea of what it was. The uninitiated into the world, children? The whole blank slate deal, inexperienced, easily molded, a white sheet easily colored to a different shade...

Or those who had experienced the darkness and remained pure. Unwavering in their morals, unbreakable conviction. Standing as beams of light in an empty void, beacons of hope...

But what was "moral" and what was "conviction"? What was right to one might have been wrong to another. Take society as a whole and use that as a standard, but not everyone agreed with society, and who was to say that the majority was right? Views changed over time, and what was the norm at one point in time was strange at another.

Of course, most people might have considered a certain type of person holy, or pure, say Christians and their Jesus and Madonna, or Muslims and their Muhammad, or Buddhists and their, well, Buddha. Social workers, benefactors of humans, mankind.

Then there was the matter of the question, was mankind even worth anything? Pitiful humans only concerned about themselves... their own salvation, their own wants and needs, so of course those people who actually cared about others seemed like saints. That being said, maybe people weren't worth anything. Then again, the people who thought those things were a tiny minority, and their views weren't important, were they?

So maybe purity could be defined as simply as people who cared about others. Or maybe not. It was all a matter of Judgment.

White also had been described as the blank slate by a certain philosopher. What people began as. What they changed from. So perhaps after childhood, nobody was white any longer. Made sense, considering how much people changed over time. But, that being said, Raven had never been white in that sense. Painted black and white from the start. Two conflicting colors, and between them, the entire spectrum of the rainbow. Never pure, never simple, she had always been "complicated", as Starfire had put it.

White was also a color of optimism.

Not Raven at all, end of story there.

A simple color, often denoting perfection. Again, Raven was complex. And definitely imperfect. Very imperfect - she realized that herself, but it was who she was. Mortal, immortal, human or not, everything that lived and existed (save for maybe the almighty God, and not the one belonging to any specific human religion) was imperfect. It was just in the nature of life... and death.

Then again, imperfection was necessary to life. Without imperfection, there was to be no progress that could be made, no goal to strive for. And with no goal, things became stagnant, and there became no meaning or drive to do anything at all, except to sit there and _exist. _Not that there was much purpose in life to begin with, but perfection removed that little purpose altogether. So with perfection came the end of all things. Akin to death, nothing to do any longer. Life was about progress, bettering anything one could, reaching for perfection but not actually trying to attain it.

In other words, not white.

A severe color at times, harshly contrasting with other colors in its pale pallor, starkness, yet not an unrestrained severity, but a controlled harshness. That was Raven. Always controlled, well, normally. On the outside, an ice princess, on the inside, a maelstrom of mixed emotions. That, when they exploded, were not quite white either. The absence of emotion, all of the different colors, that was white - with them all there, that was black.

Light reflected, not absorbed, denying her feelings, herself, a light void, not a lightless one, devoid of everything but an immense nothingness, or perhaps balanced instead, each shade in perfect harmony, canceling each other out or working together as one.

White, radiance unbound, glimmering diamonds, snow, ice, sparkling cold, the glacial frost of a wintry death - ultimately, Raven knew that her inability to let out her emotions would eventually be her doom, the ice princess front that she put out bottled everything up inside too much. She would be her own doom. Sparkling? No. More like, destructively explosive, an inferno of ineffable feeling, but not brilliantly glimmering like gems. Almost, but not quite white.

Heavenly light - she was part demon. No.

Not white. In most senses of the word, she was not.

But did she want to be?

White - it was not being ignorant, no, it was being very aware of everything around oneself, which she was, but able to ignore it, able to work for pure good and justice, whatever those were supposed to be. If only she could figure those out, she might be able to cancel out the innate evil inside her.

But then, good and evil were such... vague terms. Ultimately, what were good and evil? Destroying everything, or saving other people? Such superficial, stereotypical, nonsensical definitions. As far as she was concerned, good and evil didn't exist like that. Things lived to do what they felt they had to, or wanted to. Demons - no, not even all demons - but her father, lived to destroy. Was that evil? To some, yes, to him, no. And to many demons, no. Earth's superheroes lived to save, and yet there were those that disapproved of them as well. Even those who disapproved of them saving those weaker than them. Social Darwinism, the weaker were felled to allow the stronger to survive and improve mankind at a faster rate. If that's the way one wanted to look at it, although most people disapproved of that type of thinking. But who was to say who was right and who was wrong? Darkseid, for one, was labeled evil by pretty much everyone on Earth and on many worlds, yet on many other worlds, he was considered a god, for they admired something in his ways... strength perhaps? It was difficult to judge, but was he evil to them? No.

So... being "white" was not something so easy to define either.

Still, there was something else white was to her.

She was well aware of that thing - White Raven - and its powers. When her emotions actually were a bit more stable, when they worked together to grant her power beyond what she normally could use.

At the cost of rejecting her demonic side.

Yep, White Raven, as had been seen many, many times, was a collage of all of her "light" emotions, which made sense, considering the color that it was, and often it ended up defeating her darker ones, which tended not to work together so well by mere virtue of what they were. Usually, in White Raven state, her mind did feel more balanced, a little bit better than it normally did, and she did feel more controlled... and maybe... happier?

It definitely wasn't a bad feeling, but sometimes she did get the sense that White Raven wasn't quite what she needed either. Rejecting half of her mind wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she wanted to gain control. Denying the problem wasn't facing it, it was merely putting it off for another day. That was why, inevitably, White Raven faded every single time. And she reverted back to her normal, destitute self.

Well, there had been that time when her dark emotions had all been released from her mind and she had become white for a while. It had felt great. She had never experienced such an uplifting feeling, such... joy, if she even knew what joy had been before. And then a gentle reminder that that wasn't who she was. The white side of her was only half of her. And as much as she thought she might have wanted to be blindly happy as she was, that just wasn't right.

What most people sought in life was some form of happiness, fulfilling their desires, and that was white to them - Raven still did not know what she sought, but it lay partly within the black side as well. Light could not truly be appreciated without darkness, and vice versa. There had to be a mixture of both, not just one or the other, and that meant happiness coupled with despair. Although, Raven felt like she tended to lean much more toward the despair side... okay, so she wasn't the perfect balanced being.

Now, supposedly, white was the color of her balanced emotions, but it really wasn't. Now that she thought about it carefully, she no longer had any desire to be white, although she did not desire wallowing in the black side of things forever either. Maybe something in the middle. Less extreme.

Nope, white wasn't for her either.


	10. Black

Disclaimer: TT not mine

These last few are getting really stream of conscious heavy...

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**Black**

Another single shade color. There was only one black. The absence of light, the darkest void.

As white was her light side, black was her dark side. That made sense, didn't it?

Usually black was evil. And again, it was hard to define what evil was. So... black ended up being the things people tended to dislike...

But then, there were people who liked black. It was so hard to stereotype such things. Some people liked them, some people didn't. All a matter of opinion, of Judgment, and not of the colors, the aspects of _everything _themselves.

To everyone, black was a different thing. Yes, it might have been "evil", but it might also have been the glorious darkness of night, or the color of a favorite car, or seaweed, or the scary darkness in one's basement... it was hard to pinpoint. And no, it wasn't just Satanists or Goths that liked black. There were many people who liked black, and many people who didn't. Same with white.

Such colors could not be constrained by opinion, or even by generalizations because the terms they generalized were usually to vague to be described properly. Maybe it could be better stated as the opposite of white.

The opposite of a blank slate, something already colored, immutable, unchangeable... certainly Raven could be stubborn. But unwilling to change at all? Black was akin to someone very experienced in the world and unlikely to change her views on, well, everything. Perhaps even akin to old age. Or simply someone who didn't think she was wrong. Not quite what Raven was.

Sure, she wasn't the most flexible of people, but she wasn't completely close minded either. In fact, change was something she relished. And given her current state of despair... not too unexpected. Curious how both black and white, two supposedly completely opposite colors, both had that quality about them. Harsh, controlled, stubborn, stagnant. Extremities were extremities no matter which way one looked at it.

So black was a color just as severe as white could be. Whether it was sainthood or demonic monstrosity, severe either way. So what drew her to the color black?

Not necessarily black specifically. Just darker colors. Raven thrived in the darkness, and all that was was something shaded with the color black. There it was, ever present, ever holding her mind in fixation.

Maybe it was necessary to talk about black in less... vague terms. Evil, immoral, malevolent, tyrannical, all those words were fine, but they weren't very specific at all. Instead, it was what black was, at least in her eyes, that Raven preferred looking at.

Despair, destitution, desolation, pure melancholy. One aspect of black. She hated it but accepted it as well. For, without suffering, how could anyone hope to progress at all? If one did not suffer in any way, there was no drive to make anything better. So suffering was at the core of living. And it seemed that, up to a point, the more agony one could endure, the stronger one could become as well.

Or maybe just the opposite. The stronger one was to begin with, the more pain one could endure. Or maybe Raven didn't even care about such things to begin with. She had said it before - the only important thing was the depth of one's own despair. And how well she could endure it. But then again, desolation wasn't as horrible as everyone made it out to be. Strange as it sounded, some people - well, demons - thrived in gloom. Just as there were those who enjoyed happiness, there were those who loved misery. Opposing, and neglected, sides of the same token. Just because those who dwelled in the light, in the white, could not see the darkness did not mean it was not there.

Raven always felt like she was ignored. Which was fine most of the time, she didn't enjoy the limelight anyway. As someone naturally introverted, and not afraid because of a lack of control over her emotions hurting anyone else, just shy at heart, she also didn't need other people to support her. Typical black.

But then there were times that she needed help. When the darkness was overwhelming, when her emotions threatened to consume her. That was black as well, severe depression, when she wanted to do nothing more than disappear and die. If white was perfection while living, but then being stagnant and doing nothing, akin to death, then black _was _death, the absence of life, also stagnant in that one could no longer produce anything. Opposite ends of the spectrum, opposing things, but producing the same result in the end.

Then the question arose, was that such a bad thing? Just as one might have been lost in perfection, it was just the same being lost in melancholy. The difference wasn't very important.

So why did she prefer black?

There was no question about it, black held some allure to it that white did not. Maybe it was a little more mysterious. Like there was more to discover by being black rather than white, or maybe she felt like it made her stronger, more willful somehow, or maybe she just found no meaning in being happy. Truthfully, joy was merely a state of mind that blinded one to many aspects of the world around oneself, compared to pensive crepuscule, which took under its domain empathy, thoughtfulness, consideration.

Maybe some would have preferred to be blind. Maybe the gloom was too much to handle. Sometimes, Raven felt that way too. Most of the time she didn't, though. She felt like understanding things was better than being ignorant. Thinking, and understanding why people did what they did, why they were different and in what ways they were the same, finding out what really made them tick... delving into the most lightless depths and emerging again, it might not have been purposeful, but she felt like there was value in it.

She wasn't completely black either, though.

Black was a color also of misanthropy, of complete hatred of life and anything living. Oblivion, nothingness, that was also how she saw it. Anything completely black was already gone. And _had _she given into the despair that ever plagued her mind, she might have been consumed by the darkness, but she hadn't. She was still alive, wasn't she?

No, Raven merely leaned toward that extreme end of twilight, almost as black as anything living could get, but she was not completely without white either. Nothing could be solely one thing or another - everyone was a collage of different colors, whether it was the supposedly personified evil Darkseid, or something as holy as the angel Zauriel...

Perhaps the only things that were dyed a single color were the almighty God and the infinite Void themselves. And they didn't fall under the category of normal living things.

Much like the world was encompassed by the two opposing forces of white and black, so was Raven's mind, in her emoticlones. Much more rarely seen, mostly because her darker emotions she usually suppressed - and they still held a greater hold over her mind than her lighter ones - Black Raven was a force similar to White Raven.

Two forces ruling her mind, vying for control, each with a mind of its own. Though consciously Raven was more inclined to deny her black side, she found that her soul resonated with it more, the alluring darkness.

Sorrowful, tormented, that was just who she was. Black inside, black at heart, with only a sliver of white within her.

And yet it was curious, because black was also all other colors melded together. Everything absorbed, nothing given off. Withdrawn. Yet it might have also not been a single color of its own, but everything else instead.

Raven certainly wasn't a person who could be described by one trait, one color. Not black, not white, not blue, purple, or pink. Well, maybe black, since it was also not really black but a whole bunch of things.

She couldn't make up her mind. White, she knew she didn't like very much when she thought about it, even though superficially she might have, but black... something infused into her being more so than any other color, except maybe red. And though she didn't exactly like herself either, that came with her bleak, black personality too.

Maybe it was just okay. No feelings about black either way.


	11. Red

Disclaimer: TT not from me

Very stream of consciousy as well, hopefully it turns out okay.

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**Red **

Black and white. A common motif of good and evil. But in Raven's case, that did not quite describe her situation accurately. It was more like... blue and red.

Human and demon together. On the outside, mixed to make violet, on the inside, very much separate. Blue, human, red, demon. An all encompassing term that included all of the emotions associated with her darker side, the one that also ruled over her mind more than the other side.

Red, her very powerful, and dangerous demon side.

But what shade of red was her demon, exactly?

Well, that was uncertain. There were many, many shades of red.

Scarlet, for one. A violent, but vibrant color. Scarlet in itself meant many things. Death, scarlet fever, pure destructive force, very demonlike in that regard. Vivacious, but not necessarily peaceful life, full of emotion of both light and dark, happiness and despair, wreaked by sensations of all sorts, that was scarlet. That was her demon, at least what it did to her.

It made her scarlet, she thought, because she had to repress it all the time, because she was afraid it could break loose at any moment and cause untold destruction. So she ended up being overly emotional and having to hide it, which did wonders on her mind.

It was also in part her own fault, though, and she had to admit that as well. Her own temper, her own flaws, her own extreme amount of power... yes, scarlet was a powerful color as well... it was dangerous, and she had to keep that in check too.

So, for all its vibrance, scarlet was not a color of pretty things and happiness - no, it was something held barely in check by sheer force of will, something deeply powerful that could not be unleashed for the sake of others.

Or perhaps a richer color, slightly orangish, the color of sunset. Fire. Sometimes a pure destructive force, sometimes something breathtaking, beauty unbound.

Well, nobody ever said that Raven was beautiful, but that was probably because she never smiled (okay, rarely smiled, but sometimes she did), and because she always seemed so hostile, unfriendly, not easy to get along with.

Still, she had her perks. For one thing, nobody ever said that Raven _looked _ugly. Not that she cared about such things. Well, maybe she did, just a little. She didn't really feel like being ugly. But beautiful...? Well, that was subjective.

Certainly, she might have appeared to be beautiful to some people and not others. That wasn't really that important, since it different from person to person. But the things she did sometimes definitely seemed to have an almost divine quality about them. Not just the save people every day thing. A battle on a different order, like that between heaven and hell, only she was a demon spawned from hell to begin with and she was fighting hell... it seemed strange at first, that she could so readily deny what she had been born with and overcome that innate destructiveness inherited from her father. And then when she had defeated him, rather than the dark devil that fought for hell, she seemed the angel, savior of the world, which she was. All while risking her life and fighting against herself as if it were nothing.

But then she _could _also be a destructive force because her father's influence was not that easy to deny after all. When she, herself, got angry, and yes it was her, and not her demon doing it, she could lose control of her powers and that would cause big issues. Really big issues.

Red, in all forms, seemed to be a fighting color. Forget the usual arduous emotion and fury, which could be any one of the shades of red - probably scarlet - red meant fighting as in dangerous battle, or fighting emotionally, or fighting against certain ideals, or fighting for one's life. Raven seemed to do that a lot. She fought a lot against herself, for sure. She fought a lot to save other people too, a warmer red, and she fought to maintain her humanity against her demonic side - did she?

Crimson, sanguine. The color her demonic side normally wore. If scarlet was a color of powerful life, crimson was a color of power in its purest sense, strength force of will.

Not all demons were 'bad', she understood that. One could not judge everything based on the actions of an individual, especially not one like Trigon. Demons were just a different culture and they seemed to function just fine. Whether or not it was good or bad, she was not one to judge it. Although humans tended to see them as 'evil'. Still, she was half demon so she had learned to appreciate a little of what they did.

Just as in the universe there was a force of creation, there was also a force of destruction. Demons tended to be that force, but then again, without destruction, without the pure obliterating force of red, the universe would fall apart as well. If there was only creation, then everything would pile up and eventually become to cluttered to do anything. Without death coupled with life, there would be too many people, too much in the world, and then creation itself would be unable to take place. And besides, without destruction, all of the failed creations that could prove to be deadlier, worse than destruction, would also still be there. So destruction was necessary. She could appreciate that, though she did not partake in it as demons did.

And then there was the 'order' of the demons. They were not a chaotic destructive force. No, very orderly, rigid, a dictatorship by earthly standards. But that was how they functioned, and sometimes dictatorships worked, as long as the leader was not a fool. Inevitably, there would be some who would not be satisfied by those who ruled over them, but that was the case in any government, even one supposedly 'by the people'. In any case, the demons followed their rulers unquestioningly, so it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.

Red wasn't really a color of strict order, though. Maybe that was why her demon always seemed so chaotic.

Crimson and sanguine, often associated with evil, but evil was such a... misnomer. She already knew that evil was too subjective a term to be used in this case, so what were they? Violent colors, maybe. On the darker side of the spectrum for sure. Fearsome, invoking terror if used correctly, and when worn in a certain way, raw strength. That fit her demon well.

Raven wasn't quite sure what her relationship with her demon was. At times she hated it, but at times she felt lost without it. It was a part of her, after all, and it didn't feel quite right when it wasn't there.

But then, there was something weird about the color red when it came to her emoticlones. There was Rage, who also wore red, and then her demon side, who wore a darker shade. Two entities she found that she had to control, both her own, both necessary parts to her, yet pained her a great deal.

Rage tended to be the more prominent one, but she was also linked to Raven's demonic half, which encompassed all of Raven's darker emotions, her strongest ones, the once that caused her the most grief as well. But that was not all.

Red, in all forms, was also a strong color. Raven's demon side granted her strength, for that was what demons valued the most, becoming the force that drove their souls to exist, their very being. The willpower to overcome one's despair and keep fighting, no matter what happened. That was being a demon. And that was who she was. Desolate to her very core, being a demon and human, no family to speak of, except for the family that wanted to either kill her or use her as a pawn, not really many friends to speak of, save for those that she lived with but those who did not know her very well...

Still, she never stopped fighting, she never gave up ever. And that was what made her who she was.

Another shade of red, the deep color of blood, not just violence, but life, for without red, the ardor, the emotion, all feeling would be lost, and then it wouldn't really be life anymore. Blood.

A color as deep and rich as life itself. Her demon certainly was complicated, dark, mysterious, much like she herself was. But there were also aspects of her that were definitely colorful - yes, the dark, intense color of blood fit her well as well. Brooding, despairing sometimes, emotional, but intensely... alive. She wasn't the morbid type, no matter how depressed she was - she was never the type to just give up on living, no matter what it seemed like.

Red was a color of not giving up. Always pushing forward. A driving force, as some put it.

Raven wasn't sure what drove her to save people, to save the world. Was it some sense of guilt because she knew she was destined to destroy it? Was it trying to make up for being a demon and knowing that she would do horrible things to everything around her?

Or maybe it was something as simple as she didn't like seeing other people suffer. She actually cared more than she let on, if that was any surprise.

Red might not have seemed like the most 'caring' color, but it was a warm color in certain shades. Raven wasn't necessarily the warm and fuzzy type, but she could definitely show affection. And when she smiled, despite her dark demeanor, everything seemed to brighten up a bit. Not that she smiled often. But one could appreciate such a thing from someone like Raven.

Red was her demon, but red was also her.

Or maybe, and even if she had trouble admitting it, her demon was her. Truthfully they were very similar, and her demon held a huge influence over her, no matter how much she wanted to deny it.

Though, admit it she would sometimes. Demons weren't all bad. Not just a necessary force in the universe, but they had their own qualities about them. Unbreakable loyalty, immense resilience, unwavering conviction, extreme intelligence.

Maybe there were only parts of her demon that needed controlling, the shades of red like scarlet, fury, blood, violence, crimson, rage, just like she needed to control herself. But hey, it was control and the rest of the things red brought that made her who she was.

So, red. Not her favorite color, but she was who she was and it wasn't easy to just deny half of herself.

Now that she thought about it, she was a little bit of everything, some more than others, and no matter what she seemed superficially, her personality encompassed the whole spectrum of color, from the deepest violet to the brightest yellow, black and white, blue and red.

It was so hard, then, to pinpoint a single color category, let alone a single shade, and say it was her favorite. Actually, strike that. Not just hard, impossible.

So in the end, Raven decided that her favorite color was rainbow. If that even made sense.

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And that was the last color + a little bit of a wrap up to this series. Hope you enjoyed -


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